I am fortunate to be blessed with a teacher-friend – Rhona. The basis of our friendship began about 7 years at the start of a job-share position. Having shared a classroom with a number of teachers over my career, it was soon clear to me that this particulate situation was different. From the very start, I felt peace, a shared purpose and commitment to the task – caring for each other and for our students and a baseline understanding about what teaching should look like philosophically.
In reflecting on this article, I am able to draw on some specific examples that resonate clearly with my own experience. Nodding speaks about fidelity: not to a principle or attribute, but “rather guided by an ethic of care for the other” It should be “refined through a deep consideration for a friend as a vulnerable human being.” (p. 26-27). My experience with Rhona has been cultivated and grown by her openness and willingness to accept me as a whole person. What I bring to the table is more than just the curriculum I teach. She has valued and affirmed my role as a mother, wife, daughter – my passions, my concerns, my health – my misgivings and my fears. Sonu reflects that our spaces for friendships need to have greater attention on sustaining feelings of safety and trust. The “character of the relationship takes precedence over the content of the curriculum” (p.30).
Perhaps, though, a guiding feature of our friendship centres around a common philosophical stance about the balance of academic and emotional needs of our students. This basis of understanding has opened up opportunity for safe risk-taking, critique and reflection. 
Our friendship that is built on trust and vulnerability has opened a space for me to embrace a different way of understanding. I echo the metaphor of “another self” (Zalloua, 2002, p.28): an opportunity when the “self breaks out of itself to courageously confront inner flaws and inadequacies.” I have seen, by watching, listening and dialoguing with Rhona that my approaches to teaching have lacked confidence and risk. Over the years, I have learned from her: to be more firm and certain with parent advice, to cover my bases in evaluation and assessment and to listen to others and be open to new ideas. She has encouraged yet challenged my beliefs. This has given me the OK to follow my instincts with greater enthusiasm and conviction.
In conclusion, I would like to draw on a more recent example of care. When I was diagnosed with cancer this past fall, Rhona’s care for me embodied my wholeness. She continued to treat me as a professional; seeing my role as a teacher as valid and useful despite my illness. 
She rallied other staff members to support me in extra-curricular responsibilities (recess duty) that helped to alleviate any unnecessary teaching stress. Rhona stood in the gap for me by practically bringing meals to my home. It takes a selfless kind of person to place care as a vital centre piece in a friendship. This relationship is truly a gift – one that cannot be manufactured, but comes from a heart of giving and looking beyond. I am thankful to be the recipient of that kind of relationship.
Reflection on:
Friendship, Education and Justice Teaching: The Professional Development of Two Teacher-Friends
Debbie Sonu
Hunter College, City University of New York
New York, NY